Something New, Something Blue, Something Old, Something Borrowed

Let's see if my fingers can keep up with how fast my brain is going right now...

Sunday, I woke up at 2:30am drove down to Jacksonville, waited about 10 minutes for my 15 minute appointment and was back on the road to Charleston and home by noon. What a morning!  As I sat in the lobby with all of the other women waiting on an early Sunday morning to get blood work and have our follicles measured I wondered about their “stories”.  In the 10 minutes I waited in the lobby I pondered over about 10 different women...some with their moms (obviously pretty young), some with their “men”, and some all by their lonesome just like me!  I never realized how difficult it is to get pregnant! So many people are being affected by infertility and it’s not just the stereotypical “older women” who waited “too long” to try to have babies.  As I sat in the lobby I felt connected to them, I wanted to just start talking to each of them as if they were old friends.  One girl spoke to the receptionist briefly asking whether it would be okay to give herself her shot before her appointment, and than preceded into the restroom, dropped her pants, and was back out in the lobby within minutes.  SO BRAVE.  I’m just getting used to someone giving me the shots, and last night even faced my shot without icing it first (we all have different levels of bravery). 

Something new—there is a new doctor in town (not really)!  JCH was late getting home last night and my friend-AP-was over to pick me up to go make dinner for our “new parent” friends and I needed my shot before I left.  AP is a ROCKSTAR—she just stepped up and gave me the shot (like a pro)!!!  I’m still a little amazed that she faced that task with such bravery and ease!  I definitely surround myself with amazing women! Speaking of amazing women in my life—I got slightly emotional this morning as I looked over birthday cards from ALL OF THE WOMEN in my life—you ladies know who you are and make me feel like such a lucky girl to have you!

Something blue—yep my stomach is still pretty bruised from the first couple of shots!  The good news is that JCH is a pro now too and I’m not even bruising anymore (sorry no polka-dot picture to share).  My stomach is getting pretty hard from all of the injections—not sure if that is normal (I’ll have to ask at my next appointment) but when I bend over I feel like I literally have a “spare tire” around my waist.   GROSS.

Something old—this trip down to Jacksonville.  Sorry to gripe but 8 hours of driving 3 times a week (yep that’s how many times I’ll be driving there this week) is getting old FAST.  I need a car charger for my iPhone, some new Pandora radio station suggestions, and a lot more itunes downloads!  I’m driving down tonight straight from work, staying in a hotel, going to an early appointment and driving back and straight back to work Wednesday afternoon (I have very few sick days to spare).

Something borrowed—do you have a few hours in your day to spare?  Maybe a few hours of sick time at work? I know, could you spare a few brain cells?  Brain cells are apparently a "hot commodity" in our house lately (not always--but lately) .  We have been storing all of my hormones in the refrigerator because when they were shipped they were in a cooler with ice packs.  Come to find out (on Sunday) it’s actually not necessary to store them in the refrigerator and you are actually supposed to keep them at room temperature.  Neither of us even thought twice about refrigerating them.  The good news is that the fridge won’t cause any harm to the hormones.  The bad news, I know some of you are second guessing our ability to be parents.  LOL (yeah at least we’re good at laughing AT ourselves).  The miscellaneous related news--I think the hormone concoction was hurting worse when it was cold because since taking them out of the fridge they have been more mild.

So anyway, I’m driving down tonight for my LAST follicle monitoring and blood work appointment tomorrow morning.  They are predicting we will be back this Friday/Saturday or Saturday/Sunday for egg and sperm retrieval (yes a couple days earlier than predicted) and than next week will be “transfer” AKA “implantation”.  They typically do the transfer either 3 days or 5 days from egg retrieval…sooo possible dates are:  November 1st- November 4^th! I’m slightly stressed out about November 2^nd because I’ve got a HUGE ongoing project at work and we have a BIG meeting that morning that I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT MISS!!!!  Keep your fingers crossed for me!  



BABY COLLAGE at Florida Institute for Reproductive Medicine (F.I.R.M.)--this covers an entire wall--8,000 babies and counting!





Pants on the ground

Just a QUICK (and exciting) update!

I had my second “follicle monitoring” and “estradiols” today.  Everything went so smoothly.  Blood lady was different and ONE THOUSAND times better! Quick! Easy! Painless!  I got a call this afternoon from Winslow in Jacksonville and they are amazed at how quickly my body is responding to the hormones.  Not only do they want me to start the second stimulating hormone tonight it looks like we might be pushing up some dates!

My final follicle monitoring has been pushed up from NEXT Friday to THIS Sunday and than on Sunday we will know more about the new timeline.  We very well could be doing the egg and sperm retrieval next week instead of on Halloween! 

I just wanted to update y’all! My heart is racing as I am typing this because I’m getting so excited!  Last night JCH chased me around the house with the needle because I forgot to numb a spot on my stomach for the injection.  I wasn’t going to let him poke me until I was ready and even though the ice may be a physical thing it helps me mentally prepare myself.  JCH is enjoying this way too much!  Wish me luck tonight on the new hormone injection that will go in my thigh! OUCH!

My Big Girl Panties

This week I'm somewhere between a 1950's housewife and a TRAINWRECK.  JCH is on a mandatory 64 hour work week (indefinitely) and I'm so busy at work that I'm stuck doing ALL of those "house manager" chores (pay bills online, check email, scan over the news, buy birthday presents, make holiday plans, etc.) once I get home rather than squeezing them into my 10-minute breaks at work.  PLUS I'm doing all of the cooking and cleaning at home, in order for JCH to get SOME R&R with the little bit of down time he has.  Between him working 12 hour days and two hours of breathing treatments each day, he doesn't get much "JCH TIME" lately.  1950's housewife...only I'm working 40 hours outside of the house too!

Anyway, back to "where do babies come from"...

I had my VERY FIRST “estradiol” labs (blood work) and follicle monitoring (ultrasound) Tuesday morning!  This was to determine my “BASELINE”.  They were measuring my follicles (hopeful eggs) and hormones levels (with my blood) to determine what the next steps are (dosage of hormones, timing of appointment, etc).  Ultrasound went perfectly and once again I was complimented on my beautiful uterus and healthy ovaries (remember this is my local OB-GYN doing the monitoring).  Patty (IVF Nurse Coordinator) called later to confirm that Dr. Winslow also thought that everything looked perfect.  Blood work on the other hand-went awful!  My arm was LiT-RuH-LEE murdered! The nurse apparently “missed or went right-thru my vein” (her words--she wasn't even sure what she was doing wrong).  She poked the needle in a little further and than pulls it out just a bit to see if she can get the blood to flow…no such luck!  By the time she decided she would need to try it again with a new needle I was sweating and looking around to find somewhere to puke.  She got a new (smaller) needle…and did the exact same thing!  Pretty rough, and I've got the bruised arm to prove it! Only 4-5 more times (with that nurse)...hopefully she'll do better on Friday!

Speaking of needles, Tuesday night was the first hormone injection and may I just say "EASY BREEZY"!  JCH was so calm and focused and I honestly didn't even feel the needle.  The ice cube numbing trick definitely worked and the needle was teeny tiny (I must have been wearing my "big girl panties"). The medicine (hormone concoction) felt a little uncomfortable for just a minute and today the injection site is slightly sore but nothing compared to my poor bruised arm.  We will be doing this hormone injection EVERY NIGHT at the same time for the next few days until I have another “estradiols” and “follicle monitoring” appointment on Friday.  Once the doctor gets the update on how my body is responding to the hormone injections I will get my next round of instructions.  My stomache (where I'm getting the injections) has two little bruises...I'll take a picture at the end of the week when I'm "polka-dot" all over.

A good friend of mine had a baby girl on Monday and last night I took a 30 minute time-out to run over and meet the little angel.  She stopped my heart and took my breathe away and I wanted to cry she was so beautiful.  Just a wonderful reminder of how worth it all of this will be!  FACT:  I would face that "not so talented" blood-taking nurse on a daily basis just to have the chance of my own little miracle.

I promise to get more sleep tonight so that my next post I will be sounding more like my old self again.  All in all...we are doing really good...are in good spirits...and are getting really excited!

My "Double Rainbow"

Where to even begin?  What an amazing weekend!  My mother-in-law was in town from Texas from Wednesday through today and boy did we stay busy!  JCH had to work on Sunday so my mother-in-law and I ran around town until JCH was ready for our 4 hour road trip to Jacksonville, Florida.

The trip (on Sunday) started off with a minor lapse in memory to START MY DOXYCYCLINE (prescribed to proactively prevent infections after the trial transfer) on Saturday morning (1 day late) and of course I didn’t bring it either (now 2 days late).  When we met with Patty (the IVF Nurse Coordinator that I fell in love with over the phone) she joked with us that we are her “problem children” after learning that I forgot my DOXYCYCLINE and JCH almost left our information packet (pretty much our IVF BIBLE) in the exam room (I think he maybe was a little nervous and/or preoccupied-lol).  As I laugh about these little “oopsies” of ours, it’s crazy to think that we are hoping to be parents since it’s painfully obvious that WE might still need someone to “parent” US.  Do you have children? Do you ever feel like that?

Patty spent over an hour going down a check list (a lady after my own heart) of information from anesthesia to sperm donors and (my favorite part) injection training.  JCH really enjoyed injection training.  I didn’t.  Against my better judgment we have decided that JCH will administer my shots (1 hormone shot will go in the belly and the other in the side of the thigh-“the saddlebag”).  The needles are pretty small and Patty gave what seemed to be a wonderful tip of “putting an ice cube on the skin for a few minutes prior to injection”.  You know I’m a huge whiney-baby so rest-assured that I will let you know how that goes.

After meeting with Patty we went into the exam room so that Dr. Winslow could perform the “trial transfer” himself (since Slowey indicated a difficult path due to my introverted uterus).  While the previous doctor spent somewhere between 30 and 45 minutes wrestling with my insides, Dr. Winslow literally completed the entire thing in less than 1 minute and with absolutely no pain!!!  (Read post “OUCH! OUIY! and OH!” for a painful reminder of the first trial transfer).

As you can see, I’M SOLD!!!! I absolutely love this place!  I’m back to being excited about this whole process and 100% comfortable that I am getting the treatment and care that I deserve (and that we are paying for).

Quick timeline rundown:  Last month the dates were “all about” my period and when I would get it.  This month the dates are “all about” my eggs!  I begin “stimulating meds” (hormone injections- Bravel and Menapur) next Tuesday, October 18^th.  A quick note that I have left out— Winslow is working closely with my OB-GYN here in Charleston so that I can do my TWICE-WEEKLY blood work and ultrasounds for follicle monitoring here in Charleston and not have to drive down to Jacksonville. I will go in for follicle monitoring and blood work 10/18, 10-21, 10-24, 10-27 and than will head back down to Jacksonville for one last monitoring on 10-29.  Winslow has decided that JCH and I will have different “retrieval days”.  JCH’s sperm retrieval will be on Monday, October 31^st, and my egg retrieval will be on Tuesday, November 1^st….leaving IMPLANTATION DAY to hopefully be on November 7^th.  You can start the countdown (or at least tentatively)!

The wonderful world of BIRTH CONTROL

It's possible you have taken birth control pills at one point in your life and it's also very possible that you have never really had any issues with them (LUCKY YOU).  If you are like me (NOT so lucky), you will relate to this post and maybe even learn a thing or two...I sure have!

What do I mean by "issues"? 

First issue was immediate, NAUSEA!  If my body doesn't like something it WILL let me know! Years ago I learned that taking my birth control at night would HELP.  I've now taken it a step further (as I have had some rough nights of no sleep and being sick to my stomach)- I will eat yogurt, peanut butter crackers, a bowl of cereal, or an apple 15 minutes before bed and than take my birth control pill.  Works 99% of the time, 100% of the time!  If this doesn't work for you, I've learned a crazy little insider trick (or maybe you have heard this before-and I'm living in the 1800's?)...Dr. Winslow has recently informed me that if you have stomach issues with the pill you can vaginally insert them (1 per day of course-lol-sorry I had a mental image).  It's amazing that through out all of these years, at age 27 (almost 28) I am just now hearing this for the first time! CRAZY!  Have you heard this before?

Next issue, HUNGER!  Okay, I understand it's not hunger, it's my mind playing tricks on me, but I have a CONSTANT urge to EAT!  I'm going to be a whale before I'm even pregnant.  I cant stop eating peanut m&ms and cookies, and for some reason raiding my husbands huge stash of slim-jims (which normally I don't even like).  I've offset this a little by keeping trail mix (with some chocolate chips) in my desk drawer at work and cramming even more healthy calories into my GREEN MONSTER in the mornings.  That's the only help I can be on that one.  Any suggestions?

Lastly, and probably the biggest issue, MY MOODINESS! (not nearly as big an issue for me as it is for JCH...and possibly some of the people I work with)  Last week I asked JCH to remind me to pick up my pills from the pharmacy and to help me remember to take them each night.  Apparently JCH had a flashback to the last time we were at the "month of birth control" junction with the last doctor and his response was "you want ME, to remind you to pick up your DEVIL PILLS, and to take your DEVIL PILLS each night?"  He finds humor in everything (if you know him-this is his dry sense of humor pouring out).  He really is a good sport though.  He gives me nightly massages, he eats whatever I want (whenever I want) and he NEVER gives me a hard time for being moody or short with him.  After all is said and done with IVF he deserves a nice vacation and some serious pampering...he's pretty wonderful!   I'm increasing my exercise (yoga and hip-hop classes) and thinking of my baby sister when she constantly jokes with me to "breeeeathe casey, breeeeathe" when I'm being too high strung!  As if there is a solution to the moodiness...I thought I might throw it out there...how might you cope?

Déjà vu

 “Libras are all about balance and harmony, lending to their easy-going nature. But when it comes to weighing work time and playtime, they'd much rather be social and have fun. Thank goodness your lucky day is Friday!”  (LIVE BY THE STARS horoscope)

TGIF, indeed! 

I’m having a strong sense of déjà vu this morning, although with this situation I am certain I have actually experienced this circumstance prior to today.  Let me catch you up!

Last Monday was our “phone consult” with F.I.R.M.  The call lasted about 45 minutes and when I hung up I was certain that JCH and I had made a wise decision in changing doctors.  I was also excited to find out that this “glitch” (change in line-up) was only going to cost us a 1 month delay (if that). 

Since Monday I have probably spoken to the doctor, Dr. Winslow and IVF Nurse Coordinator, Patty, 10-15 times (that is probably the TOTAL amount of calls I EVER got from SEFC over a 10 month period).  I already feel so comfortable with both of them.  I know it sounds silly but Patty says things like “okay, girlie, lets do this”, and “yay, I can’t wait to get you two down here”…which makes it personal…and not so artificial (like our last experience).

So you are probably wondering why the sense of déjà vu this morning (because this sounds like two TOTALLY different experiences).  I just called Patty because I got my “menstrual cycle” (and by now I know that the timing of everything is contingent upon that) and “in short” the conversation goes, “start your birth control tomorrow, in 17 days you will come in for a trial transfer, and than we will be looking at the week of October 30^th for the retrieval and implantation”.   Heard (and planned for) all of this before...

EEEEEEEEEEEE sooo excited!!! That is the REASON for the sense of déjà vu!  The feeling of excitement—it’s so familiar and so nice and our “baby-making day” --it’s on the calendar, again!

Oh yeh, one last thing.  Patty spoke to my OB-GYN here in Charleston, Dr. Conatser, and they determined that my Follicle Monitoring and Estradiol Stats (blood work) could be done here in Charleston (which will save me SEVERAL long trips down to FLORIDA).  In total it looks like we will only need to travel down to Jacksonville 4 times...not too bad! The first trip down will be October 10th...it's safe to start the countdown...again!

Out with the old, in with the new

BIG DECISIONS MADE IN OUR HOUSE THIS WEEK!

I’ve refrained from saying anything until now because I’ve chosen to stay positive and not reflect on the negative however I’m coming clean and getting it off of my chest.  I REALLY DISLIKE (trying really hard not to say HATE) my fertility doctor and clinic!  Since day one I have been in shock that I receive better customer service, open communication and more information when I spend $20 at Target than when I’m spending close to $20K to create a human life with our fertility clinic.  It’s been impossible to get the doctor on the phone for any questions, and his nurse coordinator lacks communication skills and the understanding that “we have never done this before”!  This is an extremely scary, emotional, and overwhelming process that is meant to bring great joy to our lives and nothing was done to help us with this other than taking our money (and sperm and eggs) to do some lab work.  It was so impersonal and complicated that we decided we WANT MORE...we fired our doctor!

Out with the old, in with the new!  We've started communication and paperwork with a fertility clinic in Jacksonville, Florida-Florida Institute for Reproductive Medicine-a 4 hour drive away! We found the new clinic after A LOT of research online and after finding them on Parents™ Magazine “10 BEST Fertility Centers" in the US list.

I'm leaving the negative energy in the past...along with that terrible doctor and his clinic.  Normally one might expect that I would be over dramatic and make a hasty decision, but this was actually the "final straw" for JCH.  He was the one who said "enough is enough" with this doctor. I can only imagine the regret that JCH and I would have, had we gone through with this clinic and did not get pregnant.  My guess is that we would have assumed they botched the procedure and it would have been impossible to admit that it just wasn’t in the cards this time.

We've set a phone consultation for early next week with the new doctor and will find out exactly how much of our previous labs, sonograms, etc. can be used, how many trips we will need to make down to Jacksonville, and how much this is going to delay everything for us.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed for ONLY a month delay.  I received a huge shipment in the mail last week of hormone injections that I get to look at everyday like "salt in the wound" to remind me that I should have started the process already! As you can see, I'm torn.  I do not regret our decision, I just wish it wasn't so!

On another note, the birth control is making me moody and extremely emotional and irrational.  I'm sticking to my healthy eating and I'm down to less than a full cup of coffee per day.  I think this week I'll try one cup of 1/2 CAFF.  A little progress each day!

Hope y'all have a great week!!! xoxo