Famous Last Words

Dreams.  There is something to say about dreams…or at least I usually feel attached to mine in someway.  I have been a dancer my whole life.  Get your minds out of the gutter…I’m talking about a studio dancer…ballet, jazz, tap…since I was probably two years old.  I even danced in college for the UNT Dancers.  Why I’m telling you this is that for some reason my dreams always relate back to dance.  Last night I had a dream that I was new to a dance studio and had been added to a small ensemble that was the most beautiful modern routine I had ever seen…and I only had a week to learn the choreography and be performance ready.  Throughout practices with the group I was continuously forgetting the routine, and feeling inadequate as I felt like I couldn’t fully DANCE IT OUT since I just barely knew it.  I was anxious and overwhelmed and feeling as though I had something to prove to my group who at this point were questioning my ability.  Two weeks ago I had a similar dream that related to dance but instead of not knowing the routine, I forgot half of my costume and was running amuck trying to find a substitute.  I must admit in all of my years of dancing I have probably had both scenarios happen…and have probably felt those same feelings in relation to dance…but it seems as though my body is relating how I felt when I was unprepared then…to how I feel being unprepared now.

JCH and I have been EXTREMELY busy the past few months (and I’m not really seeing a window where it will slow down) and I’m feeling slightly overwhelmed with all of the baby products (what’s the absolute best, what do I REALLY need, what is not hideously ugly and going to turn my house into a tacky baby toy room), slightly stressed with a timeline for the “birth of my baby” at work (launching a new name and brand is what I am calling my “work baby”) in June and the birth of my real baby in July.  I think these dreams are stemming from my lack of control and compulsion for everything to be PERFECT.  I’ve just barely scratched the surface on our baby registry, haven’t even finished clearing out the guest room which will eventually be the nursery, have a crib picked out but still haven’t ordered it, haven’t signed us up for any birthing, breastfeeding or baby boot camp classes, and am in desperate need of bigger clothes and more comfortable shoes-my improvisations the past few weeks are almost humorous (since I haven’t had time to go pick some new stuff up)…feeling like I am spinning out of control.  On Monday JCH texted me from work to tell me that because he didn’t have any clean underwear (I haven’t done laundry in about two weeks) he was wearing gym shorts under his jeans. WOW rock bottom…I’m sure he hasn’t had that happen since college.  What else? Oh yeah, I forgot to remind JCH of our 28 week follow up ultrasound on Monday morning until Sunday night…come to find out when we show up that morning that we are actually a week early.  The good news is they still saw us, and the even better news is that we saw how beautifully our baby boy is growing and got some great 28 week pictures.  BB Hoffman is in the 65% percentile (which leaves no cause for concern on the whole “cord placement issue”), and was measuring at 2 lbs 10 ounces.

PEEK_AHHH_

BOO (doesn't he look just like his daddy?)

Speaking of BB Hoffman…he sure is an active little fellow.  I swear he is going to come out of the womb break dancing!  I used to primarily feel him kicking and bouncing around at night…but now he is going strong all day long.  I love it.  Not sure if I ever told this story…but I was talking to a coworker about my affections for coffee and said, “so what if I have a hyper kid…”….hah FAMOUS LAST WORDS! J  Speaking of hyper kids…JCH was recently visiting family in Texas for opening season of turkey hunting and his nephews (ages 8-12) were also there.  JCH was amazed at how wild and “out of control” (his words) these young boys were.  The funny thing is they have always been wild and out of control young boys (is there any other kind?)…the difference is that he is now imagining that they are his own…and his responsibility…and now the “wild boy” becomes real.  It’s so funny to talk to him about parenting and how we would “like to” raise our baby boy.  He analyzes other kids and other people’s parenting techniques and is really so concerned about how he/we will be as parents and how our little guy will turn out.  I on the other hand, know he will be a wonderful father, and actually have no doubts on our ability to raise a well-adjusted, thoughtful, bright, considerate, brave, and most importantly HAPPY baby!  I CANT WAIT!  My silly worries are more about what the nursery looks like, and having all of the BEST baby swag…whoa tough choices…I know.

I’ve got a lot to look forward to these next few weeks.  Next weekend I’m flying home to Texas for a baby shower hosted by my fabulous in-laws and get to see everyone’s beautiful faces and looks of shock when they see how HUGE my belly is.  The week after that is the HUGE finale event for my fundraising efforts for this year for The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation- the Great Strides Walk.  I was the committee chair this year and so the event (and it’s success) mean more to me than ever.  In June two of the closest people to me- my sister, Bri and good friend, Tam are flying down here to Charleston to co-host a baby shower for me and BB H.  These two know me so well and are such perfectionists that I can’t wait to see what they have put together for BB Hoffman and I.  I’m also really ready to squeeze them, and get some quality catch up time.

Medically and pregnantly checking in…glucose testing went well (the drink really isn’t THAT terrible- and the results came back normal), and I’ve got the Strep B test in 2 weeks (which isn’t that big of a deal). OOOO also I woke up this morning and the skin around my right eye is sensitive.  I’ve had a similar feeling before in my arm…when I accidentally sleep on it funny it will create temporary nerve damage where the slightest touch is painful, but the face…not really sure.  Not too concerned but something I will keep an eye on.  Belly is getting really big and constantly feeling REALLY full.  I can’t eat very much anymore.  I seriously will eat a small can of pineapple and be full…or a pbj.  The indigestion is getting pretty bad…it’s hard to lay down without feeling like my food is slowly moving back up my digestive track and on it’s way up my throat…YUK.  I already take a 40mg Nexium every morning…but have now also become an addict of tums.  I also feel like I am “going more often” now too…it’s like I eat, I poop…guess there is no room for it anymore (lol-tmi I know).  Sleeping is touch and go.   Some nights I’m out and sleep perfectly and some nights I sleep but feel awake, and/or constantly wake up and cant go back to sleep…on average getting about 3 nights a week of good sleep (and not complaining)….bring it on BB Hoffman…I’m ready for the “no sleep”…lol…FAMOUS LAST WORDS.



27 weeks (in my office)