The wonderful world of BIRTH CONTROL

It's possible you have taken birth control pills at one point in your life and it's also very possible that you have never really had any issues with them (LUCKY YOU).  If you are like me (NOT so lucky), you will relate to this post and maybe even learn a thing or two...I sure have!

What do I mean by "issues"? 

First issue was immediate, NAUSEA!  If my body doesn't like something it WILL let me know! Years ago I learned that taking my birth control at night would HELP.  I've now taken it a step further (as I have had some rough nights of no sleep and being sick to my stomach)- I will eat yogurt, peanut butter crackers, a bowl of cereal, or an apple 15 minutes before bed and than take my birth control pill.  Works 99% of the time, 100% of the time!  If this doesn't work for you, I've learned a crazy little insider trick (or maybe you have heard this before-and I'm living in the 1800's?)...Dr. Winslow has recently informed me that if you have stomach issues with the pill you can vaginally insert them (1 per day of course-lol-sorry I had a mental image).  It's amazing that through out all of these years, at age 27 (almost 28) I am just now hearing this for the first time! CRAZY!  Have you heard this before?

Next issue, HUNGER!  Okay, I understand it's not hunger, it's my mind playing tricks on me, but I have a CONSTANT urge to EAT!  I'm going to be a whale before I'm even pregnant.  I cant stop eating peanut m&ms and cookies, and for some reason raiding my husbands huge stash of slim-jims (which normally I don't even like).  I've offset this a little by keeping trail mix (with some chocolate chips) in my desk drawer at work and cramming even more healthy calories into my GREEN MONSTER in the mornings.  That's the only help I can be on that one.  Any suggestions?

Lastly, and probably the biggest issue, MY MOODINESS! (not nearly as big an issue for me as it is for JCH...and possibly some of the people I work with)  Last week I asked JCH to remind me to pick up my pills from the pharmacy and to help me remember to take them each night.  Apparently JCH had a flashback to the last time we were at the "month of birth control" junction with the last doctor and his response was "you want ME, to remind you to pick up your DEVIL PILLS, and to take your DEVIL PILLS each night?"  He finds humor in everything (if you know him-this is his dry sense of humor pouring out).  He really is a good sport though.  He gives me nightly massages, he eats whatever I want (whenever I want) and he NEVER gives me a hard time for being moody or short with him.  After all is said and done with IVF he deserves a nice vacation and some serious pampering...he's pretty wonderful!   I'm increasing my exercise (yoga and hip-hop classes) and thinking of my baby sister when she constantly jokes with me to "breeeeathe casey, breeeeathe" when I'm being too high strung!  As if there is a solution to the moodiness...I thought I might throw it out there...how might you cope?

Déjà vu

 “Libras are all about balance and harmony, lending to their easy-going nature. But when it comes to weighing work time and playtime, they'd much rather be social and have fun. Thank goodness your lucky day is Friday!”  (LIVE BY THE STARS horoscope)

TGIF, indeed! 

I’m having a strong sense of déjà vu this morning, although with this situation I am certain I have actually experienced this circumstance prior to today.  Let me catch you up!

Last Monday was our “phone consult” with F.I.R.M.  The call lasted about 45 minutes and when I hung up I was certain that JCH and I had made a wise decision in changing doctors.  I was also excited to find out that this “glitch” (change in line-up) was only going to cost us a 1 month delay (if that). 

Since Monday I have probably spoken to the doctor, Dr. Winslow and IVF Nurse Coordinator, Patty, 10-15 times (that is probably the TOTAL amount of calls I EVER got from SEFC over a 10 month period).  I already feel so comfortable with both of them.  I know it sounds silly but Patty says things like “okay, girlie, lets do this”, and “yay, I can’t wait to get you two down here”…which makes it personal…and not so artificial (like our last experience).

So you are probably wondering why the sense of déjà vu this morning (because this sounds like two TOTALLY different experiences).  I just called Patty because I got my “menstrual cycle” (and by now I know that the timing of everything is contingent upon that) and “in short” the conversation goes, “start your birth control tomorrow, in 17 days you will come in for a trial transfer, and than we will be looking at the week of October 30^th for the retrieval and implantation”.   Heard (and planned for) all of this before...

EEEEEEEEEEEE sooo excited!!! That is the REASON for the sense of déjà vu!  The feeling of excitement—it’s so familiar and so nice and our “baby-making day” --it’s on the calendar, again!

Oh yeh, one last thing.  Patty spoke to my OB-GYN here in Charleston, Dr. Conatser, and they determined that my Follicle Monitoring and Estradiol Stats (blood work) could be done here in Charleston (which will save me SEVERAL long trips down to FLORIDA).  In total it looks like we will only need to travel down to Jacksonville 4 times...not too bad! The first trip down will be October 10th...it's safe to start the countdown...again!

Out with the old, in with the new

BIG DECISIONS MADE IN OUR HOUSE THIS WEEK!

I’ve refrained from saying anything until now because I’ve chosen to stay positive and not reflect on the negative however I’m coming clean and getting it off of my chest.  I REALLY DISLIKE (trying really hard not to say HATE) my fertility doctor and clinic!  Since day one I have been in shock that I receive better customer service, open communication and more information when I spend $20 at Target than when I’m spending close to $20K to create a human life with our fertility clinic.  It’s been impossible to get the doctor on the phone for any questions, and his nurse coordinator lacks communication skills and the understanding that “we have never done this before”!  This is an extremely scary, emotional, and overwhelming process that is meant to bring great joy to our lives and nothing was done to help us with this other than taking our money (and sperm and eggs) to do some lab work.  It was so impersonal and complicated that we decided we WANT MORE...we fired our doctor!

Out with the old, in with the new!  We've started communication and paperwork with a fertility clinic in Jacksonville, Florida-Florida Institute for Reproductive Medicine-a 4 hour drive away! We found the new clinic after A LOT of research online and after finding them on Parents™ Magazine “10 BEST Fertility Centers" in the US list.

I'm leaving the negative energy in the past...along with that terrible doctor and his clinic.  Normally one might expect that I would be over dramatic and make a hasty decision, but this was actually the "final straw" for JCH.  He was the one who said "enough is enough" with this doctor. I can only imagine the regret that JCH and I would have, had we gone through with this clinic and did not get pregnant.  My guess is that we would have assumed they botched the procedure and it would have been impossible to admit that it just wasn’t in the cards this time.

We've set a phone consultation for early next week with the new doctor and will find out exactly how much of our previous labs, sonograms, etc. can be used, how many trips we will need to make down to Jacksonville, and how much this is going to delay everything for us.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed for ONLY a month delay.  I received a huge shipment in the mail last week of hormone injections that I get to look at everyday like "salt in the wound" to remind me that I should have started the process already! As you can see, I'm torn.  I do not regret our decision, I just wish it wasn't so!

On another note, the birth control is making me moody and extremely emotional and irrational.  I'm sticking to my healthy eating and I'm down to less than a full cup of coffee per day.  I think this week I'll try one cup of 1/2 CAFF.  A little progress each day!

Hope y'all have a great week!!! xoxo

OUCH! OUIY! and OH!

Yesterday was my "trial transfer" and sonogram.  I was told this would be a quick and easy procedure and therefore I told JCH I didn't need for him to come with me for this appointment.  Boy was I eating my words while sitting in those stirrups.  OUCH!

I'm sure you're wondering (as was I) what a "trial transfer" entails.  Not everyone's anatomy is according to "text book" and come to find out mine is quite different (but we'll get to that later).  So, what they do is use a sonogram and a catheter to "find their way" through the cervix and into the uterus, basically recording the measurements along the way in order to assist with making the process go much smoother on our actual "retrieval day". 

I think this is typically an "uncomfortable" procedure.  For me it was more than uncomfortable because of my retroverted uterus which according to the doctor made navigating through MUCH more difficult (and painful).  Once the doctor would turn a corner with the catheter he would wiggle it around moving it closer and further away from the sonogram (my belly) to be sure he was documenting the measurements correctly (that was awful).  Than he would PUSH HIS WAY around another corner (which was more than awful).  Plus I should also mention that I was told to come to this appointment with a "comfortably full bladder"...sooo pretty much the entire time I felt like I was going to pee on the doctor.  *I am also told afterwards that my bladder wasn't quite as full as they want for the actual "retrieval day"...which means I'm almost guaranteed to pee on him on October 4th. "Just another day at the office...got peed on during an egg retrieval"...lol...OUIY!!!

(If you are going through this in the near future, I wouldn't fear the "trial transfer" based on my experience, I think it's typically not that bad, I just have a silly backwards uterus.)

OH! We also started looking into "sperm donors" more seriously to have as a "PLAN B" (which more than anything in this world I hope we get to stick with PLAN A) but we still must be prepared.  It was funny last night going through these guys profiles and personal essays.  Some were extremely boring and generic and some actually pretty interesting.  We've "saved" 2 profiles as potential donors-which is a HUGE STEP!! I'm pretty sure we need to have this decision made by the end of the week! I'll keep you posted- of course! :) 

Information Overload

Good Morning and Happy Monday!

I’ve been on a small work-induced hiatus—but am back and have LOTS to share!

I’ve started my 21-day cycle of birth control (as well as prenatal vitamins) and am feeling the hormones already (yes I’m sensitive).  I’ve been slightly grumpy and horribly nauseous.  My body just does not like birth control.  I’ve tried just about everything—taking different forms, taking it at different times of day, and taking it with different foods.  Small price to pay and I'm not complaining (okay maybe a little).

I’ve also been doing very well with my eating habits.  I’m down to 1 cup of coffee a day (as opposed to 3), I’ve started drinking “green monsters” every morning for breakfast, I’ve QUIT fast-food for lunch, and have been incorporating MUCH healthier dinner options with lots of VEGGIES!

JCH and I have also started a "bonding and de-stressing" regimen that involves massages and intimacy on a daily basis (tmi sorry) that we hope will keep us both in good spirits and connected throughout this whole crazy experience!

I’ve got some VERY important dates on my calendar now too!  Tomorrow, August 30^th I go in for a sonogram and a “trial transfer”.  September 8^th I will go in for an ultrasound.  September 9^th I will go in for a check-up and begin my Lupron injections (September 9^th is also one of my besties “due date”-YAY!!!).  The Lupron will help control ovulation and stimulate follicle growth—getting my body aligned and ready to do exactly what the doctors need it to do at the “perfect time”.  Beginning September 22^rd I will have a check-in appointment just about every day to check the progress of my follicles, etc.  September 23^rd is when I will begin my “stimulating meds” (more hormone injections).  AND FINALLY, THE TWO BIG DATES ARE:  October 4^th and October 7^th (as long as everything goes according to the plan).  October 4^th is “retrieval day” (sounds like a holiday).  Retrieval day scares the CRAP out of me!  Both and I will go in as patients this day.  I will be under anesthesia in order for the doctors to extract my eggs and JCH will be poked and prodded and will potentially need a biopsy to exhaust every possibility of retrieving sperm that can be used to fertilize my eggs.  If at that time sperm cannot be retrieved we will HAVE to use the sperm donor (which we still have yet to select).  October 7^th is our “implantation day” which will involve implanting the fertilized egg/s (embryos) in my uterus… and than a long 14-day wait to see if we are pregnant! 

If all goes according to our current timeline we will know whether we will be “expecting” by October 21^st (5 days after my birthday). J I’ll keep y’all posted on the “trial transfer” and “sonogram” that is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon! Wish us luck!

My Green Monster-yum!

Preparation H

Yeaaah this post has nothing to do with hemorrhoids and/or beauty queen secrets for under-eye bags….it’s about “preparing the Hoffman uterus”…I just couldn’t help myself with the bad pun. J

The doctor called yesterday to discuss birth control.  When we initially spoke about whether or not I would go on birth control to help regulate my hormones (prior to the first IVF cycle) the doctor wasn’t convinced that it was necessary.  He changed his mind.  What does this mean?  Well, the IVF cycle will be pushed back 1 more month (countdown to September 26th anyone?).  This is good news though!

Taking every precaution to ensure that implantation will be successful is wonderful news.  PLUS this gives me more time to wean my body off of caffeine—I sure am going to miss my coffee!  This also gives me more time to get my body (and womb) in prime condition.  I’ve been given some instructions and have read loads of recommendations online about what to eat, what not to eat, how much exercise is appropriate, vitamin and herbal supplements, standing on my head twice a day…okay that part isn’t true…but there really are so many superstitions out there!

A BIG change that I am trying to make is eating better!  I’m supposed to stick to “lean meats-with about 60g of protein a day and lots of fruits, veggies and H²O”.  I’m supposed to stay away from “chocolates, processed foods and foods with high sugar content”.  Sadly, processed foods are a huge percentage of my food intake—I know, terrible.  Another hurdle here is cooking for two people with very different recommended diets.  John has been eating meat and potatoes as a diet regimen his whole life and I’ve catered to that, now I need to cater to my uterus!

PLEASE share any recipes and raw vegetable dishes that you enjoy that may be helpful to the Hoffman household and wish us luck with this new endeavor!

Oh yes, and I should be receiving my custom protocol (day-by-day “play book” of what appointments will be necessary once I begin my period in September and what will happen at each appointment) in the next week or so…sooo stayed tuned for the fine details of the upcoming processes. 

TWO "not so easy" STEPS

Because the fertility center is treating both JCH and I as “patients” they will be testing and prepping us simultaneously leading up to fertilization.  Last week prior to leaving my HSG appointment the doctor asked me what our “plan b” is.  I told him that JCH and I had just briefly discussed using donor sperm, but that we would prefer to “cross that bridge” when we get there.  To my dismay that is not a recommended path.  There will be a very small window where my eggs will be ready to be fertilized and they will need sperm.  At that point, they will go to JCH to perform a biopsy of his testicles (which will hopefully produce viable sperm).  If they cannot get viable sperm from JCH they will need to implement “plan b”.  If we don’t have a “plan b” they can always freeze my eggs, but that was not something they encouraged as they only preferred to go that route in emergency cases.  Which brings me to “not so easy” step 1…choosing our “plan b” (donor sperm).

How might one find donor sperm you ask?  Check it out for yourself, it’s (for lack of a better word) FREAKY! http://www.cryobank.com/ You can choose based on ethnicity, hair color, hobbies or religious beliefs, or you can send in a picture of your spouse and they will match facial features to those of the donor sperm to find a close match.  You can even listen to a recording of the sperm donor answer questions about themselves.  Yes, I admit, I have looked at it.  But I have yet to sit down and have a serious conversation with JCH about choosing our donor sperm.  How would you choose?

So what is “not so easy” step 2?  Prepping my body.  (Remember I’m slightly OCD)  No coffee, no alcohol, no pharmaceuticals, no over-the-counter medications (remember my family who truly believe I’m a hypochondriac), less processed foods, more fruits and vegetables, prenatal vitamins, and a much stronger work-out regimen (and this is only my “common sense” list, not the doctor recommended version).  NO COFFEE?? Yeah, that’s going to be rough for a few weeks.  And what will happen to my acid reflux without taking my Nexium? These are minor worries. NOW “insert” (pun intended) hormone injections.  Lupron, Dexamethasone, Gonotropins, HCG, low dose HCG, doxycycline, progesterone, and Vivelle.  It’s crazy but each of these hormones play a very special role in a very time-sensitive manner.  If you’re interested in learning about the functions of each, shoot me an email, I’ll be glad to share! 

Within a week or so, I should be receiving our “protocol” from the Fertility Center, in which case we will know exactly when we will begin…but if all goes according to plan.. “there should be no reason we can’t start our first cycle with the start of your next period” (doctors words).  p.s. I’m expecting a visit from Aunt Flow around August 28^th.  Let the count down begin! 18 days!