Don't have time...cant slow down!

Whoa…where have we (me, BB Hoffman, and JCH) been and what have we been doing?  It’s been far too long since I’ve touched base with y’all.

Most of y’all are aware that I have organized a charity kickball tournament- Kick CF to the Cure- and that has pretty much taken over my life these past few weeks (BB Hoffman loves philanthropy already and seems to really enjoy mommy’s efforts).  I’ve been busy obtaining sponsorships, food donations, and working on team recruitment.  It’s a lot to do ALL BY YOURSELF…next year I need to recruit a committee to help delegate tasks.  Speaking of being busy…

You might remember, a few weekends ago we went to a beautiful wedding in Greenville, SC…and I got JCH to dance with me a few times.  I read in my baby book that BB Hoffman can feel my dance movements (swaying, bouncing, etc.) so I was really excited to start teaching him rhythm and show him his mommy and daddy have some moves.



Dancing at the Hanus Wedding



This was followed by one of the longest days of my life.  I was working on building my “stock photography” for work and met a photographer at 6am to run around town and capture images of Charleston.  I was with this photographer until 9pm that night…and put some serious miles on my feet.  Little did I know that 6 months pregnant and walking around for 15 hours was not a good idea (understatement of the century).

Sample of STOCK PHOTOGRAPHY-
Images Courtesy of Krist Michelle Photography

Sample 2 of STOCK PHOTOGRAPHY-
Images Courtesy of Krist Michelle Photography

My poor little footsies did not have time to rest up before they were being abused 2 days later in Atlanta, GA shopping for baby stuff.  By day 2 of shopping I pleaded with JCH that we rent a motorized wheelchair…my ankles were so swollen and every step was so painful.  Would that be ridiculous to use a wheelchair?  I didn’t think so.  Did we get a wheelchair?  Of course not, I’m a tough cookie.  We also celebrated JCH’s 30^th birthday while in Atlanta by allowing him a shopping spree at Bass Pro Shops, and going out to dinner at Maggiano’s.  YUM YUM YUM (BB Hoffman and mommy really enjoyed that part of daddy’s birthday).

Another thing that has been consuming my free time lately is “nursery planning”.  I’ve decided that BB Hoffman needs custom nursery bedding…and my mom is going to help me accomplish this.  I’ve picked out the fabrics and will sew the sheets, dust ruffle, and curtains, and my mom is going to sew a quilt.  I decided that with the mostly grey and white decor to incorporate elephants in the theme…and have since become OBSESSED with elephant stuff for the nursery.  Check out my “Baby Love” board on Pinterest if you don’t believe me.



BB Hoffman Nursery-Inspiration Board
http://pinterest.com/casey_luxem/baby-love/



I went to a beautiful baby shower last weekend and was 1 of 4 pregnant friends there.  How awesome is that? It was fun to joke about needing a crane to get us off the floor and talk about baby essentials and registries.  I love comparing notes and having a good friend to talk to about the strange things that are going on with my body.

My beautiful pregnant friends

At my last check up with Dr. C -I mentioned that I am twice the size of my other pregnant friends and he said that was nothing to worry about (I wasn’t worried-well yes I was-where is there room for growth if it already looks like I have a bowling ball under my shirt?).  He said that because of my retroverted uterus (tilted uterus) the baby’s position is going to also be tilted (and in my case-that is TILTED FORWARD).  I honestly catch myself holding/supporting my belly when I walk around…it’s just so “OUT THERE”...I feel like I'm going to fall over.

We’ve got another wedding coming up this weekend that I have been anticipating for months.  I absolutely LOVE the couple getting married and think they are really going to “bring it” when it comes to celebrating the love.  I’ve got a few friends that I’m super excited to see too….and it doesn’t hurt that I happened to find an AMAZING dress (while in Atlanta) that I cant wait to wear!  You remember how obsessive I was about finding a “stylish” dress to wear…and well I think I did.  YAY!

Excited to see BB Hoffman at our next ultrasound on April 30^th.  I bet he is HUGE and looking more and more like his daddy.  I’m just getting so excited to meet my little man…if only we could agree on a name for him.

Picture Friday

Happy Friday!!! BB (baby boy) Hoffman is sure getting big!  I find myself looking at our most recent ultrasound pictures over and over again...and I still cant get enough! I thought that maybe y'all might like to see BB Hoffman!

Saying hello to mommy and daddy

what a beautiful profile BB Hoffman has

My FAVE- so precious

mouth wide open- looks just like his daddy

It's a boy! (arrow pointing incase you need some help)

Oh how I've grown in 10 weeks!



JCH and I are busy doing our homework! Trying to determine which is the safest (and cutest) crib, car seat, stroller, etc. is slightly exhausting...but mommy wont settle for anything other than the best!  What did you do to research baby items? Did you happen to save any of your research (and willing to share)? We are also trying to determine what "baby furniture" items we need/want and what we can fit into the room that we have designated for the nursery.  What items would you say are absolutely necessary?  I bought a sewing machine and am going to make the curtains and a foot stool, and my mother has agreed to help with the crib bedding (slightly more complicated than I can take on).  As silly as it sounds I'm really excited to get my sewing machine and start on some of my projects!!!  This mama is feeling the need to "NEST"!!!

JCH and I are going to a wedding this weekend in Greenville, SC which I've heard so many wonderful things about!  We are really excited to not only share in the joys of LOVE with our friends but to have a little "getaway" together to rest, relax and love on each other!  We love weddings...they really do spark a deeper and bigger flame within the two of us...so magical!  I'll be sure to take pictures--especially after all of the hype of finding the "perfect maternity dress"- LOL :)

Wishing a wonderful weekend to all of you!!!

Boy or Girl??

Happy Super Tuesday (and by super I mean it was fabulous for our little family)! :)

What a day! I left the house before 8am and got home long after 8pm! That's a long day for me! TOTALLY worth it though!!! Our ultrasound this morning was by far the best! Not to belittle the others...but words can’t describe how amazing it was. I cried the whole time (tears literally poured from my eyes while watching them measure the femur and humorous-lol). I kept thinking back to our 1st ultrasound at 7 weeks when our baby was literally JUST a beating heart...and then today getting to see the 4 completely developed chambers of the heart...just a miracle. JCH and I made a fun little video to "announce" baby hoffman's gender so I wanted to share that with y'all too!

In the meantime, we found out that our umbilical chord is not centered on the placenta (which is more typical) and therefore they would like to watch and make sure the baby is growing at the expected rate. The funny thing about that is that baby hoffman is actually BIGGER then he should be...measuring a whole 6 days ahead of his "age" at 14 oz (nearly a pound now). They said the chord placement isn’t anything to worry about...but it does get us an extra ultrasound (which I'm super pumped about). So we'll be back to see the doctor at 24 weeks for the (standard) yummy diabetes drink and check up...and then again at 28 weeks for another ultrasound (yippee).

I was hoping to be able to download the video straight to this page...but it appears that the file size is too big for "blogger".  Follow this link below...and scroll down until you see the video on my facebook page... http://www.facebook.com/#!/casey.luxem (If we aren't already friends...feel free to friend request me too). 

Ultrasounds pics and preggo humor...oh my!

Today I don’t have any big news to share (or rather any news to share) so I wanted to share this hilarious blog post that a friend shared with me! It's called "Porn for Pregnant Ladies"--check it out by clicking here. (It's not really porn for those cautious-I promise it's worth it)

PLUS I've got a few ultrasound pictures (with commentary) from last Friday’s appointment to share!



The ONLY 4-D picture we got
Sucking his thumb, covering his face with one arm,
and sitting "indian style"



Facing the camera- you can see eye sockets
and his one arm pressed against my belly



Beautiful profile picture



Sucking "his" thumb- which is becoming "the standard"

Oh yes! I'm really excited for my shopping date this weekend with a girlfriend.  I am now shamefully sporting the "unbuttoned pants" look so it's extremely necessary! :) Let's hope I dont have another "exhaustion/dehydration/sickness spell" -this will be my 3rd attempt at shopping for "bigger clothes" (3rd times a charm, I hope). :)

My Little Indian Boy (or girl)

The most dramatic development this week: Reflexes. Your baby's fingers will soon begin to open and close, his toes will curl, his eye muscles will clench, and his mouth will make sucking movements.
-Baby Center, 12 Weeks

What is so fascinating about this tidbit of information is that at today’s ultrasound “baby hoffman” was sucking his thumb.  I think “he” is ahead of his class!  Not only is his mouth making sucking movements…he’s already found his thumb and fingers and is just “having a ball” with them.  Mommy’s first prideful moment! Smarty pants hoffman! He takes after his daddy (has a big head like daddy too).  These ultrasounds just keep getting better!  Last week was my first emotional ultrasound and this week both JCH and I were crying (well he had tears in his eyes and the most prideful look on his face-worth a million bucks).  Baby hoffman also sat “Indian style” for a while at one point during his tumbling act…it was beyond amazing!

Dr. Conatser said the subchorionic hematoma (let’s just refer to it as SCH from now on) looked better and to forget that it even exists.  I asked him his opinions on acupuncture as an alternative therapy and he said that he believes that it is helpful in some circumstances, but cannot find any “scientific data” that backs it up (a very “doctor” reply).  He said he is comfortable with it if I would like to give it a try.  I think I might!  He said he has heard a lot of success with acupuncture helping with pain management during pregnancy and labor…so maybe that will be something I also discuss with the acupuncturist (since I’m considering “no drugs” as my birth plan).  Stay tuned on that!  I’m still not set in stone- I’ve just barely begun the tedious amounts of research I plan to do prior to making a decision!  Also, noteworthy is that I spoke with Dr. Winslow and Patty (from F.I.R.M.) and they said that because the blood was already brown it most likely means the clot has resolved itself and is shrinking.  They too were not too concerned.  Conatser said most likely I will get a full report from the specialists that we see this Friday for our “1^st trimester screening”…man we are spoiled with all these ultrasounds!

I think I had previously mentioned the difference in “my family” and “JCH’s family” when it came to “gender preferences”.  I have been chatting away with my sisters and like to provoke humor from their previous comments of “it better be a girl or else” and thought I would share a couple texts that made me giggle.

It’s weird, but I feel like baby hoffman is going to be a boy (as you can tell I’m already referring to baby hoffman as “he” in my writing).  A friend at work and I looked it up on the Chinese calendar and that too says baby hoffman will be a boy.  Another really cool thing about the Chinese calendar is that apparently this year is the “year of the dragon” meaning that it is a lucky year!  Another friend told me that they read an article about it being “the year of the dragon” online and apparently China is expecting a major “baby boom” because of it.  Hopefully we don’t have a baby boom here…that just means more competitive preschools, colleges, and job market for baby hoffman and his birth year friends.  Protective mommy doesn’t like the sound of that!  Stay tuned…I’ll most likely post after our ultrasound on Friday too! Good bye 1st trimester...hellllllllo 2nd trimester (hopefully that means no more puking too).

p.s. One quick last thing! If you are reading PLEASE comment on my blog! Most of y'all are not "following" which is fine I know "tech savvy" isn't for everyone-but if you could at least comment here (rather than shoot me texts/emails once you read) it would be a better way for me to keep records.  I plan to print this blog for baby hoffman to read one day and having your words of wisdom, excitement and encouragement will make it so much better! One day when baby hoffman is 20 years old and has known you for 20 years he will look back at your comment and it will mean a lot to him too! Plus, the emotional support and knowing I'm not just blabbing to myself will make me feel better too (you know these crazy hormones).  Okay-that's it for now! xoxo



a little bump appeared over night
(this outfit usually accentuates my waistline-not so much right now)



Easy? What's that?

I've never been an easy girl...not as a stubborn child, potty mouthed teenager, or in high school with the boys (couldn't resist)...so what would give me the crazy idea that any part of my pregnancy (or getting pregnant for that matter) would be easy!?

Today I scheduled an impromptu visit with my OB-GYN.  It was the BEST ultrasound to date!  Baby Hoffman, “Chudo”, was feeling very acrobatic today doing somersaults and waving its arms around saying hi to mommy!  The ultrasound technician is brilliant and got some phenomenal shots of Baby Hoffman (the pictures really are amazing but just watching our baby move around and than lay perfectly for the picture-breathtaking and tearful)!  It was the first ultrasound that I cried at!  Not that the other ultrasounds weren’t equally touching and exciting, I think it more had to do with the relief that “chudo” looked so wonderful- he was just so big, and defined (the profile, and arms and legs) and active and I was overwhelmed because of the initial reason I was there! 



1st picture- Baby H is waving hi to mommy
2nd picture you can see Baby H has daddys long lean feet! SO CUTE



Why did I schedule this impromptu visit?  Yesterday and this morning I woke up with a dark brown discharge in my panty liner.  Normally the discharge is bright yellow (from the progesterone inserts that I put in each night) but not for the past two mornings and it concerned me (especially since today there was a little more than yesterday).

Turns out that I have what is called a subchorionic hematoma.  Read about it by clicking here or here.  These websites descriptions are closest to the way that my doctor explained it to me.  Dr. Conatser was optimistic and said the most important thing to focus on is that my baby has a good strong heartbeat and that it’s moving around and growing perfectly.  The hematoma (blood clot) will most likely fix itself (what he said).

As you might imagine I am a basket case! I’m going back and forth between feeling confident that it WILL FIX ITSELF to feeling self pitty and disgust that we have this horrifying “we’ll see” over our heads.  Major bummer that what I thought was the scary part (first trimester) was nearly over and now we have something else to worry about.  Now I have to wait EVEN longer until I can feel safe and comfortable and not vulnerable and scared.  As lucky as we have been throughout this whole process I still cant help but be pissed…yes we have been lucky…lucky for someone who had to go through IVF in the first place…cant at least a portion of this be easy!?  Apparently not.

This all comes after such a wonderful holiday with our families and when I was finally allowing myself to get excited and start planning.  I was planning a maternity clothes shopping trip this weekend (all of my shirts are showing what looks like a “large lunch food baby”), and a prenatal massage for when I reach my 2^nd trimester, and a normal sex routine with my husband when I am no longer doing those nasty vaginal inserts (in 2 days), and exercise-I was finally starting to feel confident that it was okay to do light exercise, and maybe even allow myself the 6-8 ounces of caffeine (oooo coffee) that I am told is okay!  Now I feel like I should just plan on sticking to my normal 12 hours of sleep, and go to work routine with no fun in between (pretty lame I know)! UGH! I’ll say it again…can’t at least a portion of this be easy?

Other than today’s news, JCH and I are feeling pretty good- completely out of our norm, but good.  We’ve had some very productive conversations over the past week over how we’re feeling emotionally and what each others concerns, questions, and wants are- short and long term.  We’ve got a lot of big decisions to make over the next few months and a lot of really exciting milestones!  Next tuesday will be a follow up appointment with Dr. Conatser and next Friday is our 1st trimester screening!  Keep us in your thoughts! xoxo

Holidaze

So many exciting things happening and I have been in a complete DAZE for most of it.  My bed time is still around 7pm (needless to say I'm missing a nice chunk of the day) and yet I'm still VERY sleepy.  I'm finding it hard to finish sentences (which makes blog-writing quite a challenge) and often lose my train of thought mid-sentence.  When I say DAZE I mean I am typically outgoing, talkative and extremely and overly excited about things...and lately a smile (that comes from auto-pilot and not necessarily from fully understanding my surroundings) is about much as you’ll get out of me.  I feel like such a bore to be around and primarily worry that JCH is really getting the worst of it.

Last Wednesday was our 2nd ultrasound and so exciting!  It was the first ultrasound with my OB-GYN (since leaving Winslow and Patty in Florida) and so we had a lot to cover.  After we had gotten through my 100 (x100000) questions we moved on to the fun part.  Dr. Conatser, the ultrasound tech and JCH all stared at the screen that I couldn't see for over ONE MINUTE and nobody said a word (or showed expression on their faces).  FINALLY Dr. C tells me that they found "it" and that there is a heartbeat.  It took nearly a minute for them to find "it" and for that minute I was slightly freaking out.  Then JCH pulls out his phone and asks if we can record the heart beat.  Dr. C is very apprehensive about using the "high frequency" ultrasound equipment for too long so we literally got about 3 seconds...BEST 3 seconds of my life!!!  Without even playing it back on JCH's phone I feel like I can hear it's heartbeat in my head, and feel it in my body.  Yesterday I took a lukewarm bath (I'm not supposed to have a hot bath just yet) and the little pool of water in my belly button looked as though it was moving along to a heart beat..."mine or the babys'?", I wondered.  Really cool to even think it might be the baby (although I understand I’m a 1st trimester mommy-to-be, hopeful for exciting and fun signs of the pregnancy and not just puking and tired).

Lima Bean last week-a Grape this week!

Remember the spokesperson role that JCH had taken on?  Now imagine brainless me and a 15 person film and lighting crew (I say that, but it surprisingly wasn't all that bad).  JCH completely downplayed (or just wasn't paying attention to) the whole "guy from CALIFORNIA coming out to film us" scenario.  JCH said 1-2 people would come over…there were 15 people-3 guys filming, 2 sound tech, 3 light techs, 3 photographers, and a hair and make-up person…plus a couple extra people for interviewing and moving furniture.  They literally turned my house upside down.  It was really cool how they morphed our personal space into looking like a studio.  I didn’t get that many pictures because I was slightly overwhelmed but I do have a couple to share.

Another REALLY exciting thing is that we are flying home to see our families over the holidays!  We are flying from Charleston to Minot, North Dakota to spend Christmas with my family, and than from there will fly to DFW, Texas to spend New Years with my in-laws.  I was hopeful for a white Christmas in North Dakota but unfortunately there is no snow on the ground or in the 10 day forecast.  The good news is that decreases the chances we will have trouble with our flights.  The bad news is that I bought my snow boots for no reason, I don’t get to make a snow man and snow angels with my nieces, and we wont get to go sledding (though that was a questionable activity for me anyway).  How is there no snow in one of the coldest places in the country? Rude.

Lastly, one of my best friends in the whole world (who introduced JCH and I in college) has gifted the great city of NYC with her impeccable taste and beyond ridiculous resources and attention to detail (this girl gets it done-and better than anyone I know).  She has started her own boutique event planning and styling company- Ever Swoon (facebook page here).  She has an amazing personal blog called “Walks with Bella” and she was the friend who suggested and inspired me to write a blog to share my IVF experience.  Starting Ever Swoon is such a huge…HUGE step in her life and I feel like my tiredness and sickness have caused me to be absent from supporting her and following her through this exciting launch.  Normally the two of us would spend hours video chatting online and sending each other links to websites (pre-Pinterest days) of inspiration and excitement.  How could I be missing so much? The only explanation is that I REALLY am THAT tired and THAT sick!  But I won’t fret—I’ll be back! 

I’m hoping I’ve only got a couple weeks left of this DAZE and I will be feeling like my normal self again.  For the sake of my husband, my friendships and hell I’ll just say it…my sex life! 

I have been extremely sentimental the past few days and we're still settling on an “en utero” name.  I’m playing around with the idea of “miracle baby” (but not so literal)…I’ve tried translating that to Latin, German, Norwegian to see if I could get a cute catchy word with no luck so far-- cudo pronounced “chewdo” means “miracle” in Croatian but I feel like that’s kinda a stretch-what do you think? We’ve got to stop calling our baby “it”!

Well...anyway...Happy Holidaze! :) (pun intended)



Equipment and crew outside of my house



make-up and hair while they set up in the background

What to Expect when You're Expecting

As I read, “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” this weekend JCH kept asking, “well, do you know what to expect yet?” (very cheeky JCH). My answer, no.  Okay, maybe I know what to expect in very basic terms, but I’ve got more questions.  Questions that I would assume that any modern day woman would want to know, but those questions aren’t answered-not in the book anyway. 
Here are my questions:

• Is there a safe method to highlighting my hair during pregnancy? Do I have to wait until my second trimester? Is it the fumes I breathe in that are harmful or the chemicals that soak into my scalp?  I'm not above attempting the "lemon juice" method if it will prevent a "root attack".
• Can I get my nails painted? Again, are the fumes harmful? If it’s the fumes, can I wear a mask to help? My toes have been slightly neglected since losing both "big toe" nails due to apparently not knowing how to correctly kick a bouncy ball while playing intramural kickball this summer (that sounds even worse when I read it aloud).
• Is it safe to go out on our boat in my first trimester?  Or is it too bumpy? It’s safe to say that boating season will be over in January so I’d like to take advantage now.
• Are my stilettos safe? Most everyone I know says that they are (other than JCH he demands I wear flats) but what are the risks?
• Can I watch scary movies? This may sound like the silliest question, but scary movies get my adrenaline pumping and heartrate speeding like a crazy person.  Can that be safe for a developing embryo?   

Well, those are my “modern day woman” questions that haven’t been answered yet.  Maybe the book is saving that for later (I have only read up to 5 weeks). 

Other fun things to share….

I am 5 weeks pregnant (yesterday).  Our first ultrasound is set for December 1^st!!!! J EEEEEEEEEE!!!! We MAY (key word: "may") find out if there is more than one baby roasting in this oven on that day.  I will be almost 7 weeks by then so hopefully we will see a heartbeat (or two)!  My HcG levels were 301 on the day that I was 4 ½ weeks pregnant…not sure but that sounds high from what I’ve read (Is that a sign that there are multiples? Am I reading into it? Wishful hoping?).

Also, I’ve commissioned JCH to turn our office/gym into a YOGA room (that is after he completes the dining room table that he is building me).  We’ve got a small mounted TV and yoga mat in there- just absolutely no room to spread out.  We’ve got to get in there and rearrange and make room for my daily meditation, stretching and exercise (I’m already feeling the hips and saddlebags growing).  Anyone have a good recommendation on videos for prenatal yoga? 

What else is new...
I'm SUPER tired!  This "non napper" is officially a "napper" now.  I have always really disliked napping and now I find myself taking a nap whenever I can squeeze one in (I contemplated the kitchen table in the break room at work today-probably a good choice that I didn't).

NO MORE INJECTIONS! Yes, I celebrated!  Thursday was the last shot and boy was it one to remember!  (good visual here) JCH couldn't find a spot on my rear-end that didn't have a knot in it so he went with it...apparently my body had decided it had had enough and the fluid and blood starting spewing out of the injection site...JCH compared it to looking like a lava lamp.  Well no more of that.  My rear-end is slowly starting to heal but the nurse said she has seen some women come into to give birth and still have knots on their butt. YIKES! Let's hope not.

5 WEEKS-no visual difference-still fun though